if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
