I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I need to sanitize my soul.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
