Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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