found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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