can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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