I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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