we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
