So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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