Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Vodka?
Forever.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
