Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
