Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
