So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
