how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
you never un-have a 4some
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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