I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I have tasted many bathrooms
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
