is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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