as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
