2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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