if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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