Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
