Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
