when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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