I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
