Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
