You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
