I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
