Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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