Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize