don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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