roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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