He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
