I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
stop calling my apartment porn island.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
