I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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