i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize