Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
