we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
