You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
