so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
