I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
