Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
