She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
