thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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