i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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