i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
