hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
