So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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