the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
