I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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