I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
