i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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