mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
