Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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