she was so not down for the gang bang
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
