I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
