I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
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she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The feeling are messing with the penis
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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