I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
