thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
