I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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