Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
