We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
