You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize