hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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