I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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