I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
