That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
