Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
